From a long time ago….

I was sorting out my stuff at home today and came across some stuff I had written when I was 15/16… just thought of putting it up here….

Life according to me…
It seems like a deep ocean, so deep and vast, with mysteries of its own. I know not what lies in store for me. Its like a challenge which I would love to accept. Its like a dream that I would wish for, to come true and joy I would love to share. To me its been both good and bad and at 16 I have so much more to see. Life is full of surprises; some good, some bad. To me, life is calm, quiet, deep, on the move and so very mysterious.
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Curious are his ways
Curious are his ways – the one who is above us all, and whose puppets we are. He sometimes gives us joy, much more than we can handle and then suddenly puts us to test by giving us all the sorrows of the world. He makes some so rich that they don’t have account of their money and some so poor that they do not have any money to keep account of. Sometimes we feel that he has spoilt our lives, and then by the same bad things we are saved from the worst of worst. He knows us in and out and knows our every need. But still many of them remain unfulfilled. Yet we call him God – the one who loves us all!! He wishes for us to pray for favours and thank him for all that he has does for us. So isn’t it recognition that he wants? Isn’t he as human as us?? That’s why I say… curious are his ways
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The Journey
Life, as someone said, is a road. It can be rough, it can be smooth. Its both – at different times. The journey that we make, we make all alone. We do have company for short periods though – families and friends are just part of this journey. Its us, who actually faces the sorrows and the joys, all alone. Its is alone that we need to cross the hurdles of this difficult yet beautiful road. People come and people go. Our lives may be affected by them, but nothing changes us completely. It is finally us who make all our choices our self, not making a choice is choice too. It is us who face the consequences and us who finally live through the choices we make. So lets break the shackles created by others and finally learn to live life the way we want to live it. Listen to others, but take your own decisions – good or bad. After all, even if it’s a bad choice, its your choice! Remember this journey that we make, we make all alone…

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Its that time again…

…when I need to pack up from the place I am comfortable with and know too well and move to a completely new place that I know nothing of. I should be a pro at it by now. I have never lived in any place beyond 3 years, and the record still stands

My biggest fear is being stuck in a place too long. I do not understand phrases like “settle down” or “permanently move” someplace. Even now when I am asked if I am moving for good, my answer is 3-4 years and not more. No matter how good any city is, beyond a point I want a change. I love change... I thrive on change. For me the more different the place is and newer the people, the better it is. It’s the sense of adventure in a new place that keeps me going.

I have always believed that distances do not spoil friendships… almost all of my close friends do not live in the same city as me, and yet I remain the closest with them. I haven’t seen one of my best-friends in years and we still seem to have loads to talk about every time we talk…So change of place never bothered me…

Why is it then, that it’s hitting me much more now? Why is there this sad, unexplainable feeling I am going through right now? A feeling that things will change and I will never be the same again… or that all the relationships I share with my friends will change forever… And while I say my good byes to friends, colleagues, acquaintances in this last week here, I feel sad, scared and I wonder whether all will be same again…Whether I will meet these people again… Whether we will still share the connection we share right now… I wonder how will I be able to pack so many memories – the good and the bad s in one tiny suitcase and take it with me to an unknown land….

This is not the me I know… I am known to be stone hearted… I never feel bad, I never cry… and I for sure never wonder about change…Don’t know if it’s a late reaction to shaadi… or my true Taurean self has finally emerged and the thought of change is scaring me…whatever it is… just want my friends to know that this one post is dedicated to you all… I am bad at expressing emotions and hence this post …Thanks a ton for being there through thick and thin and never ever giving up on me….I love you guys and will miss you lots and I hope once again that things don’t change……

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