Out of my comfort zone
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
The title is from the book of a cricketer I really admire. It’s the first thing that came to my mind when I thought of writing – perfectly describes what I am going through right now. I got here a month back and thought of taking time to settle down before writing about it…however, settling down is taking more time than usual, so here goes…
What does one think of, when you first say Africa – Wildlife, forests, wilderness, etc etc. Well Johannesburg at least is very different from all that – it’s a city alright (for the benefit of all my friends who thought I was going to live in a jungle resort). The infrastructure is like any developed country – wide roads (though they still have traffic jams), huge shopping malls, clean surroundings (at least the places I have been to). Basically all of the infrastructure woes we suffer from in India are taken care of. I, however am taking time to settle down.
I strongly believe that for us to grow as people, we all need to experience new things, be in new situations and meet new people. And because of this belief, I have never shied away from anything that’s new. This time around, I am truly out of my comfort zone. I don’t remember the person I was before I started working. Work, for me was my security blanket. It was there in my happiest times and there for me in my lowest hours. I counted on work to keep me going for the longest. So not working is taking time to sink in. The idea of not working was appealing. But now being officially unemployed for over two months and not seeing any work in the line of sight scares me crazy sometimes. I have hated being dependent on anyone for travel. I never needed to learn to drive in India since I love walking on the streets, and taking ricks. In Sweden, I could take a bus and walk. Here however, walking on the streets is a strict no-no and with no safe public transport to speak of, maybe its time to start driving. I never picturized myself as a typical “house-wife”. And that’s exactly what I am now. I cook, I clean… I take care of the house…
Let me be honest here…I don’t really have any right to crib…I am really lucky to be married to a really nice guy… A loves cleaning the place and does more than his share of the work… I am very lucky that way… A irons clothes, cleans the place since I am allergic to dust and washes up the dishes too!! He is extremely patient when I hyperventilate about finding work, or go paranoid about vegetating at home, and drives me around anywhere I want to go without a murmur…What more could a girl ask for :-)…I still feel unsettled….I guess some people (read me) are never satisfied and want it all!! Maybe this experience will ease out the control freak in me and I will learn to take life as it comes… I just hope this lesson in life is a small one and doesn't extend beyond my patience level :-)
PS: I realized that I haven’t written much about Jo’burg and my impressions of this place… I promise to do so in my next blog…
