Blue, Blue and more Blue…..

Lakshadweep’s been on my list of places to visit for a very long time and going there for my honeymoon just happened to be an added bonus (thanks A). It’s been 3 weeks after I have come back and the hang over still continues!!

My first impression of Lakshadweep was – Wow!! I have been to a lot of beaches, but have never seen something like it before (for once the travel brochures weren’t wrong). The white sand beaches with crystal clear blue water just took my breath away. Speaking of blue, my definition of “sea blue” has undergone a change now. There can be so many types of sea blue – the light/sky blue, the greenish blue, royal blue, ink blue, etc. I got to see all of those colors in the water there- all in a span of a 2 km radius!!

Let me keep the raving for later and start from the start :-). We stayed at the Agatti resorts which is govt. run and the only resort on the island. Agatti has the highest population among the island (of about 8000 people). It’s also the only island with an air strip. Statistics apart, it’s a beautiful place. The beauty of the island hits you while walking from the airport and just the feeling of awe just stays with you for days to come. We started the trip with what the rest of the tourists were doing – sun bathing!! I cannot imagine having so much fun lazing around in the sun and doing nothing but stare at the water and the turtles in it. To my surprise I enjoyed it; maybe it was the rest from the constant mode of doing something, whatever it was, the rest and the remote place worked for me. Apart from all the lazing around and being total beach bums, we also went coral reef watching and spotting turtles. It was really nice to see such an amalgamation of colour in the reef and the fishes. We saw all types of colored fishes (I thought they existed only in aquariums). After the first day of learning to spot turtles, I saw so many of them swimming/eating very close to the shore. The highlight of my trip was to see them not being afraid of human beings. It was also good to see that us human beings respected them and left them alone.

The other highlight of my holiday was the visit to Bangaram. Bangaram is one of the 35 islands in Lakshadweep and has only a private resort. So why visit it? Its one of the most beautiful places I have seen till now (and I have seen many). It’s breathtaking!! That’s the only way to describe the place. The waters that surround the island have so many different shades of blue due to the varying depth of water. During low tide you can even walk from one island to the other with water just touching your ankles. The place is a vision, but the highlight of the trip was the boat ride to Bangaram. We went in a small fishing trawler crossing the high seas in the opposite direction of the winds, when it was very windy. Well, the less said the better, but at one stage I thought we would topple over. What bugged me was the boatmen and A enjoying looking at the worried look on my face. A especially since he doesn’t even know to swim. I wasn’t scared of drowning (I know how to swim) and neither was I scared that A would drown. There was enough supply of life jackets to save him till help came and the water wasn’t cold either. I was scared for my camera. I knew toppling over would mean death of my buddy (yeah I am in love with my camera). Anyways, nothing happened apart from me being the butt of jokes!!

The good thing about my vacation was that I got a chance to visit the village in Agatti, even if it was in the pretext of visiting the hospital. It was very quaint with coconut strewn all over. We got to know that the auto we went in was the only auto on the island! I also met a German couple who ran the diving school in Agatti. For 9 months in a year, they stay in India and the rest monsoon months in Germany. They’ve been here for more than 10 years and that’s the job – scuba diving and teaching people to scuba dive. I was so envious. I wish I had a cool job where I could actually make money out of a hobby!!

Tips:
# You can go to Lakshadweep by ship. However incase you plan to travel by ship, make sure you are flexible with your travel dates. The ship schedule is most likely to change last minute.
# Always plan to either visit or stay in Bangaram. Bangaram is much more expensive than Agatti. However it’s completely worth staying there at least for a day.
# Alcohol is prohibited in Agatti. Another reason to visit Bangaram :-).
# Be prepared to get used to salt water. Its in the sea and your bathrooms.
# If you know Malayalam, use all of it there. Since most of the tourists are foreigners, the locals completely like Indian tourists and if you are Mallu you are adored!

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Are you ever prepared to get married??

Since there is less than a month for the wedding now, I keep getting questions featuring around the subject of shaadi… some of the common ones which amuse me, get me hassled and the real answers of which I can never tell them…


1. Is your shaadi shopping done?
Almost everyone who meets me asks me that for the last few months. I am sure people will conjure up things that I surely need to buy even till the last day. I never knew a day would come when I would be sick of shopping. Well its come and I sure am sick of shopping. I loved shopping – agenda less, impulsive shopping. But shaadi shopping has got to my nerves. Deciding on a guy was hard enough, so deciding on the ring, the clothes, make-up, jewelry for the “forever moment” is probably the most difficult project I have ever done. I do not want to look at another sari or jewelry I will never wear after the wedding!!

2. Are you prepared to get married?
Can anyone really be? Or this there a way to be prepared? I don’t even know in how many ways my life going to change. How can I be prepared for how to deal with it right now? The best possible thing I can maybe do is to hope that I can handle it in the future.

3. So how do you feel leaving home, mom and dad and going to a strange unknown family?
This one is the best… I am delighted you see!!! I am going to strange country where I have no friends and the comfort of running away home whenever loneliness strikes… yeah you could say I am happy…. Duh!! How would I feel??
Not that I believe in the funda of leaving mom and dad… Can you ever leave mom and dad? I left home and by that I mean the physical state of home more than eight years ago so going someplace else is not weird or sad. I guess what’s not so nice is the fact that I will not be in close physical proximity to visit them as often as the luxury of Bangalore-Kerala has provided me. That will take getting used to. Secondly, the family I will try and fit into, is not strange anymore… after almost a year they cannot be strange. I guess it will take adapting from both ends… but am sure we will figure out a way.
What I will miss the most however, is the familiarity of India. I missed India when I was in Sweden for a year. And I know for sure I will miss it now. I will miss the luxury of picking up the phone and talking to my closest pals and make adhoc plans to meet them some place, will miss the place I work at and the people here, its been the only institution which has remained constant in my life for more than 3 years...

Could go on with the list… but am senti all of a sudden, and scared and nervous! I guess its time to wrap this up right now, or else will start as to wondering why on earth am I getting married… A won’t be too pleased by that one :-).

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Resilience – an abused word

I am sad, disgusted, confused. I get madder as I watch the news. I feel helpless. There are a million questions/thoughts in my head. Who are these guys?? What religion teaches you to kill innocent people?? Are these people even fit to be called human?? I wonder what is it that these animals want?? A part of me says – whatever it is just give it to them… nothing is worth a hundreds of lives and the sense of insecurity that has become a part of our lives…


The other part of me wants to stand up and tell these %^*^^&& to get out of my country and let me live in peace. A part of me looks to my government and implores it to do something about the vulnerable country that we have become. I now hate the words like resilience and phrases like “spirit of India”. I now feel that it is an excuse to not do anything about these attacks. I now do not want the country and me to forget about this in a few days and get on with life. I definitely do not want life to go back to “normal”. I want to be like the Americans who still haven’t forgotten the 9/11 attacks and bombed a couple of countries in their supposed quest for the culprits. I don’t want India to go that far. But I also do not want my country and the politicians to become the “peace loving” country that we love to be. I want the politicians to remember that the number of people who died are not just a statistical number but they meant the world to someone. I want the same politicians to remember that tomorrow it could be them. I do not want to listen to things like intelligence failure. I do not want the lives of the people who died fighting these terrorists go in vain. I want the law makers of this country to now to something to take the bulls by the horns. I want to now become like an Israel or maybe even like the Arab world. I almost believe that an eye for an eye is the only thing that works. I want these jerks to be scared of even thinking of attacking my country. I do not want India to become like some of the countries I do not want to visit due to fear of safety. I do not want my foreign friends to ask me if it was safe to travel to India. Most of all I want each one of to stand up and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

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Dedicated to the necessary evils of my life

You can love them, you can hate them… you can surely never ignore them, especially if you rely on them to get from one place to the other!!... No am not talking about buses, and since I’m not in Bombay, it’s not the local trains, but the famed auto rickshaws of Bangalore… They’ve had such an affect on my moods that this one’s dedicated to them.

I have been tormented, frustrated and sometimes pleasantly surprised by them (the drivers of these autos that is). But no this is not a auto bashing blog, but some of the funny/amusing incidents I’ve had with them. And since I don’t know their names, have taken the liberty of naming them

The Nana Patekar of Taxi 9211: This guy is first on my list. He managed to shock, anger and amuse me all in a time period of 15 mins. Well this guy agreed to come to my place without batting an eyelid and wonders of wonders, did not ask for extra money….well anyways… the journey started… The guy was unusual since he followed a lot of the traffic rules, did not jump lights and change lanes. But what caught my attention was that he kept honking at some pedestrians ignoring the footpath and walking on the road… this when there was enough space for him to pass… when they turned around and glared at him, his reply – “there is a footpath meant for you to walk on, don’t occupy the roads unnecessarily”.. As if that wasn’t enough to shock me, he returned my one rupee change and insisted I keep it since he didn’t take charity!!!

The Senile old man: I usually walk it to work… It’s my way of reducing carbon emission. But there are days when I am either late or plain lazy when I seek out to these ricks. On one such day, I met an old auto driver. He prayed for about a minute before he started the rick. In my mind I thought “what a religious old man.” The guy went of to sleep on a traffic light, with the rick moving backwards and almost hitting the car behind us… and when I woke him up, he tells me that driving ricks is boring!! He then looks everywhere else, but the road while driving… That’s when I knew what he prayed for before driving – my safety!!!

The Himmesh Reshamiya fan: There are a lot of autos in India with music systems. But this one had blue disco lights in the rick. And yes much to my irritation and the delight of my roomie the driver played Himmesh Reshamiya songs… The volume was loud, and his singing even louder…. It was good fun to see someone enjoying himself without any care for the world or his customer’s ear drums! And yes my roomie tipped him for the entertainment he provided her :-)

There are a lot more funny incidents that have happened with these guys, but these three were top of mind… and am sure my tryst with these people will not end here… will keep adding as I keep experiencing

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To my friends….with love

I watched Jaane tu ya jaane nah last weekend… my verdict – an out and out masala movie with a story which is age old. Having said that, it worked for me as the treatment was fresh and the actors really nice….well this blog is not a review of the movie, but what it made me think about – Friends….

All my life, I always thought that I connected better with guys. I knew what they talked about and I believed that I liked their discussions (barring the ones on girls) on cars and gadgets as compared to make-up and lipsticks and yes character assassination of girls prettier than me!! It irritated me to no end when my girl friends never believed that my really good guy friends were actually just friends and nothing more…However when I thought about it after watching the movie, I realized that I have out grown most of my guy friends who were really good friends at a particular stage of life, and all most all my lasting friendships have been with girls… Most of my closest friends are all girls. They relate to what I am going through much better and I do not hesitate talking to them about my deepest fears…. With guys, I discuss tennis, cricket politics or maybe my travel adventures… Not that they are not dear to me just a bit superficial according…So here’s to my closest girl friend’s… I cannot imagine my life without everything that you all bring to it – the shopping, the never ending emails/conversations on life’s ups and downs and even the non-stop gossiping….

Then comes the question that can a girl and a guy be just good friends and nothing more… Well according to most of my friends they cannot. According to them, all good friends of the opposite sexes at one point of time or the other have been attracted to each other, or its been one sided for sure. I always believed and still do that this is definitely not true.. I have debated this for hours with a very good friend of mine who also happens to be a guy. His take – I might not be attracted to someone, but how can I be sure of what’s going on with the other person. Reflecting on my relationship with most of my guy friends, I think he has a point; there has always been an attraction from either side. It’s another matter that for me what starts as a crush, graduates to friendship and then remains strictly that. One of my friends’ once told me that that my definition of friendship was very elastic. That is probably why I was shocked/surprised if a good guy friend of mine ever expressed feelings beyond friendship. For me a friend was a friend, it was immaterial whether he was a guy or a girl…

Is it possible that I have to change my opinion after 27 years of my existence?? Were my friends right about what they said??? Is it possible that the cheesy Hindi movie dialogue “ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte” or what they portray in every single Hindi movie on a girl guy friendship actually true??? Can a girl and a guy actually not be just good friends?? ……

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Am Back

I am back to writing on popular demand. Ok I construe demands by a few friends as popular, but anyways…

I’m getting married!! The feeling has not yet sunk in and I sometimes need to remind myself that it’s forever and now there is no turning back (at least I hope so). Knowing me, I am sure that I’ll be wondering even when the priest asks me if I want to get married, if this is the right thing to do…I really pity Ashwin on that one!!...

Gauging all the excitement I could happily outsource all of those preparations to family and friends. However there was something I had to do on my own – attend the marriage counseling course. This post is for all those friends of mine, who have been so curious about what happens in these courses...

For the uninitiated, you need to go through a marriage counseling course before getting married in a Catholic Church. I was quite skeptical on what a priest would tell me on marriage when he had no experiential learning on the subject itself. Anyways, since it had to be done, it had to be done. There I was last weekend sitting in the class and hoping that this course would be worth my salsa class when this lady walks in and starts asking us questions like why we want to get married and why to that particular person. I was blank for a moment before I really started to think… Well that was the beginning…. During the course of the weekend we had some interesting sessions on psychometric tests and how they could be used for good marriages.. I for one was quite amused by this new purpose of a psychometric test. Well there was a lot more on understanding basic differences between men and women and how both must learn to understand and adjust…etc etc…

My take and learning from the weekend – the church is after all not all that age old. Some of the stuff that the counselors talked off impressed me beyond limits. They talked of why individual spaces were important and getting married need not necessarily mean changing a 100 % (I was glad I was proved right yet again!) and how it was important not to let any other relationship get in the way of your relationship with your husband/wife. On the hindsight I feel that though the 2.5 days could have been covered in a 1.5 day session, it was quite useful. If nothing else to at least open up a platform for discussion on difficult topics like when to have children, career choices, finances etc. All in all a weekend well spent..

I hope to remember all of it until I am married, coz thanks to dad who loves to plan everything way ahead of time and hence I have attended this course some 6 months before getting married!!

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Leaving on a jet plane

I finally got down to packing yesterday and that’s when it started sinking in; I was leaving Sweden for good. I am catching my flight tonight and all sorts of mixed feelings are running through my mind at this moment. I am happy that am finally heading back home to India, but am sad too.

While saying my goodbyes to everyone here, I realized that I will miss this country and these people a lot more than I had thought. I have so many memories of this last one year and each one so different from the other that all of them together will make this year unforgettable. A friend of mine told me once that it was very important to learn to live alone and be happy about it. After being here for a year, I have learnt to truly live alone and enjoy my own company. I know now that if I talk to, or spend time with someone then it’s not because I have to, but because I want to. I rediscovered my writing here not to mention taking photography up seriously – happens when you have a lot of time during the weekend and few people to interact with. Strange as it may sound, I have lived for a year in a hotel and its home to me and the people working there my family. To my pleasant surprise I learnt that a country could survive on trust, and thank God for that or else would be stuck a million times without any form of transportation!! I learnt the meanings of words like “hit the wall” “unmarried wife/husband” and “plastic kids” or “plastic parents” and am no longer surprised by a completely new concept of family. I learnt that the meaning of the word "OK" could range from "alright", to "I understand" to "I don't think so"!!I learnt a whole new way of working – from being highly objective to having being forced to develop relationships to get work done. And speaking of relationships – I learnt that you don’t necessarily need to show how much you care when you really do.I discovered that it is possible for more than 50 people to be sitting somewhere and still there being pin drop silence!! I saw some of the most beautiful places here, and was awed by Mother Nature and all that she had to offer. I also realized how much I loved India and everything Indian – the food specially!!

I could go on and on, but in short I think Sweden and the last year opened my mind up to various things and whether it be good or bad – will not forget the last year.

PS: Having written all of the above, I am still looking forward to heading back to India – Home is home and no other place could be better

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